Blast From The Past
by Busman's Holiday
Summary: Ste gets a shock when old friend and flatmate Justin Burton shows up at his door in the middle of the night. Justin gets an even bigger shock when he realised how much has changed and meets Ste's boyfriend, Brendan Brady.


**Blast From The Past**

Ste stubbed his toe on the bedroom door frame on the early-hours stumble to the banging on the front door. In his mid-dream delirium, he'd half hoped it was Brendan returning home early, but as consciousness kicked in he was reminded that a), Brendan had a set of his own keys and b) Paddy's birthday wasn't until the next day, so he wasn't likely to make a return from Ireland and miss out on the celebrations. That's if Eileen let him anywhere near the party at all, Ste had overheard the strained phone conversations and approached him with caution when questioning how Eileen might react to Paddy's gifts being signed "_Love Dad and Steven_."

"She's not gonna like that," Ste had said, flicking the tag in his fingers.

"S'true, ain't it? The presents are from the both of us." Brendan had already begun zipping them into his suitcase signalling the end of discussion.

"Yeah, but she's not gonna see it like that," Ste said, not picking up on the very final way Brendan hurled the suitcase off the bed. He knew this was Brendan flicking the Vs at Eileen's strict approach to him having access to the kids.

"It's Eileen. Her middle name ain't Jane, it's Unreasonable. The priest lied." Brendan paused for a moment as though his mind was anticipating the look on his ex-wife's face as she accused him of flaunting his sexuality in everyone's face. Everyone's Catholic face. The drugs and the crime and her being knocked up at the altar all well and fine, but him shacked up with a lad? Out of the question.

"Steven, I could swan round there, be the perfect father, renounce my sins and take up pussy again and she'd still have a problem with me." Brendan saw the look of – _she does have some reason to be pissed _– look in Ste's face and jumped in before he had the chance. "And yes she has every right to hate me, but I ain't tiptoeing around her for the sake of her pride or because she thinks this-" he gestured between the pair of them, "-makes me a worse father."

Ste had smiled at him affectionately before adding finally, "And please don't,"

"Don't what?"

"Go looking for another beard. It were bad enough watching you tongue Mitzeee." Ste pulled a face and then to prove a point, Brendan pulled him forward, hands clutching his arse and launched an open mouth upon him.

**x**

But now in the early hours, just a day later, Ste missed him. He wrapped a dressing gown around himself, one that had become a shared item of theirs, and hobbled to the front door.

And when he saw who was behind it, he rubbed at his bleary eyes, just to check this wasn't another dream after all.

"What the -? What are you doin' 'ere?!"

It was a face he hadn't seen in years, one he had never expected to see again. Justin Burton.

"Ste, mate. Sorry it's so late. Don't 'spose I can come in, can I?"

With little option, Ste stepped back and let his old flatmate, his old friend and fugitive into the flat. He flicked the light on in the living room and nudged the tinfoil takeaway containers out the way.

"Some things never change, eh?" Justin said with a fond smile. He slumped on the sofa like the old days and apologised again when Ste yawned.

"It's three in the mornin'!" Ste said tetchily but the sleepiness made him soften. "I'll make us a brew and you can tell me what the hell you're doing back here."

Justin started right from the beginning, where they'd left things in the graveyard with the clothes swap and Warren's death hanging over him, and filled in the gaps – bumping into Russ, hitching a lift with him, making their way to Spain and going their separate ways when things settled. He'd worked in bars and for someone who had left his life in tatters, seemed fairly happy.

"Fake passport, new identity," he explained, when Ste asked how he'd crept back into the country, albeit four years later. "New tan!" He laughed. He was visiting his mum, trying to persuade her to go out to Spain, having fallen ill, she had little time left.

"We're not close," Justin said, "But after Mel and Sophie, I can't have mum…you know…on her own."

Justin asked after his son, Charlie, and Ste talked in vague terms about what he knew and the Osborne's new set up, glossing over Charlie's disappearing act over New Year.

"You know Nancy, she's a good mum," Ste said, draining the last dregs of his mug.

"Can't believe she's married to Darren! Darren?! Does he still wear those string vests and gold chains?! I can't see Nance going for that!" Justin laughed and then suddenly the attention was on Ste again. "So mate, what about you – any more kids? Wives? Amy?"

"Er that's a long one. One for the morning," Ste said, partly through yawns, partly because he didn't know where to begin. "You can kip in the spare. It's a bit girly, it was our Leah's, but…"

"Nah that's great. Nice one mate."

After a restless night, Ste woke early and began making breakfast for the pair of them. Justin slept in and Ste was reminded of their lazy, grubby days in the bachelor pad where the day would start at one pm and slop along on a diet of junk food and Xbox.

Brendan called just as the sausages had started spitting in the pan.

It cheered him instantly, even though his voice was thick with sleep. "Mornin',"

"You sound rough. Been awake all night have you, Steven?"

"Sommit like that," Ste said, jabbing at the food with a spatula. "How's Dublin?"

"Same as ever. Doesn't quite live up to the heights of Christmas, but beggars can't be choosers," Brendan replied, a smile in his voice.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. Went to Grogan's, got meself a Guinness on your behalf,"

"Yeeuch," Ste said, wincing. "You missing me then?"

"Mmm. I got you on my mind. Especially in this city now,"

"Aww. Soft git," Ste said, pressing the phone to his ear with his shoulder as he rescued some frazzling eggs. "I better go, me breakfast is looking a bit dodgy,"

"Alright, I know when I'm not wanted!"

"Wish Pad a Happy Birthday from me. On the quiet though, like, not in front of Eileen," Ste said, "Love you. Bye."

Justin shuffled out of the bedroom just as Ste was plating up.

"Now _this_ is what I call a proper brekkie!" Justin said, grinning widely as he sat down at the table, gathering a knife and fork in hunger.

"How long are you planning on staying anyway…not to kick you out or nothing," Ste asked gingerly as he placed the breakfast plates down.

"Why, you got a lady friend coming over or something?" Justin said, eyes twinkling as he started wolfing down the food.

"No," Ste said. "Just curious that's all. I mean, the police, are they still out for ya? I mean, since Warren's all locked up and well, alive."

Justin shrugged, banging a splattering of ketchup over his mushrooms. "No idea. I'm not gonna stroll into the village if that's what you mean. I'm just keeping my head down."

As he ate, Ste mulled over a number of different ways to broach the subject of his dramatic life changes. He expected Justin would be fine with it, if not a little weirded out that they used to sit together in their pants and not once did Ste even ever consider him in _that_ way. Now, just a few years on, was recently divorced from a man, living with another man.

The dilemma was taken out of his hands when Justin returned from a shower.

"Tea-tree moisturiser?" he began, putting his feet up on the coffee table when he sat down. "When did you become metrosexual Ste?" He lisped a bit as he said it, laughing.

Ste coloured, wrung his hands a bit and perched on the table next to the wall. "Oh. That."

"I've never seen so much grooming shit in my life!"

"It sort of just happened. Like a few years ago. I didn't even know, right. Like, when you and me lived together I had no idea." Ste could feel himself rambling, gradually becoming aware of a furrowed look of confusion on Justin's face.

"Okay…" Justin said. "What you er, on about?"

"I never…you know, thought about you like that," Ste said, a wild panic rising in his eyes.

"Like what?"

"Fancied ya!" Ste whispered.

Justin's eyes flitted left to right and his expression screwed up a little. "Why would you…?"

"Well I'm gay now, aren't I?"

"Are you?!"

"I thought that's what you just asked me!"

"No!" Justin cried. "Mate...How?" Then correcting himself, realising it wasn't specifics he was after, said, "Hang on - you're gay? Like, actually gay?"

"Yeah. Like, properly gay." Ste became a little embarrassed, fidgeting with the sleeves of his hoodie. "I got married n'everything. To a man."

Justin sat back, trying to take everything in. "Bloody hell. How long was I away?"

Ste smiled when he realised Justin was laughing too.

"Where's your husband now then? Husband - is that the right word?"

Ste shook his head. "We're not together anymore."

"Oh," Justin said. He looked as if he had a thousand questions but didn't know which to ask first.

"We're still friends, we run a business n'that. But Doug, that's his name, he was like er…my second choice."

"This sounds more complicated than women, mate."

Ste grinned. "Yeah. 'Cept not really. Cos I knew getting married was a mistake but I did it cos I thought I should. You know that I've been trying for so long to do the right thing with my life, be a good person. Thought getting married would take my mind off Brendan." Ste paused for a minute and then looked right at Justin. "You know when you was seeing Becca in secret? And you had to be with her, and every time you weren't, you just thought about her every second. Like you were obsessed? Like you were gonna die if you couldn't have her. And you knew it was wrong, but you couldn't live without her?"

A sad regret washed over Justin's expression. "Yeah."

"That's me and Brendan." Ste said. "Without the whole teacher, pupil thing, obviously." Ste laughed awkwardly.

"And this bloke-"

"Brendan."

Justin nodded, "Brendan – you together now?"

Ste beamed, enthusiasm changing his whole demeanour. "Yeah. We live together. Which is mad, right, because never in a million years did I think he'd ever be in a proper relationship with me."

"Nothing wrong with you, mate," Justin said and then twitched, "I didn't mean for that to come out sounding gay…"

Ste laughed. "I'm not gonna pounce on you Jay,"

There was a lengthy pause between the pair of them and Justin was reminded of some of the more serious discussions they'd had in the past, about love, childhood and fatherhood.

"He's your kryptonite," Justin said, echoing words from a long time ago.

"Better," Ste said softly. "I thought Amy was The One, you know. I thought she was everything. Maybe she was, for old Ste."

"Straight Ste," Justin smirked.

"Yeah," Ste said, "But the real me - _this_ me - Brendan's the love of me life." He was serious for a moment and then erupted into loud, undignified laughter, "Now who sounds gay?!"

**X**

"So how did you know?" Justin asked. They had the Xbox on, like the old days, and elevensies cans of lager.

"Why, you thinking of a dabble?" Ste teased, giving him a hard tackle on FIFA, when he was distracted.

"I'm a tits man, no question. And you're telling me you don't miss em?"

"Nah." Ste said, tapping buttons on the controller with frustrations. "Not even a bit."

"Mate, I feel like my whole life's been a lie. All that porn we used to watch!"

Ste scoffed. "You watched, you mean. I was never fussed Jay. You know, since being gay, all the stuff in the past, porn and girls and tits – that's like…a ham sandwich."

"A ham sandwich?!"

Ste had his tongue half poking out with concentration. He paused between sentences as he fired shots into the goal and missed. "Yeah. Like it's nice and everything and stops you feeling hungry for a bit. But it's just an 'am sandwich. And you know what you're missing out on? Steak. Fillet steak. Every night. In every room."

Justin made a noise of disgust. "Are you just trying to put me off my game?"

"Oh yeah! Another one in the back of the net to me!" Ste cheered, drumming his feet on the floor in celebration.

"Must be all those new balls skills!" Justin joked, followed by a thump in the arm by Ste. "So go on…leave out the gory details…gimme the short version."

"I dunno really. We worked together at the club. He was my boss-"

"The Loft?"

"Well yeah, but it's called Chez Chez now." Ste explained, "But anyway. He's like this gangster, running the nightclub. All drugs n'that. And like I kept things quiet for him and he paid me to keep quiet. You know, roughed me up a bit sometimes to keep me mouth shut." Ste paused. "Like you and Warren really. Like if Warren was Irish and proper sexy and had you down in the cellar,"

Justin hit pause on the game. "You are sick."

Ste grinned and then pulled a grimace. "Can you imagine?!" He laughed.

"Mate! I don't even want to. You can keep your sick fantasies to yourself." Justin saved the game and leapt up to get them a few more cans.

Ste waited for Justin to sit back down and got the encouragement to continue. "I just started getting these weird feelings for him, wanting to be around him all the time and impress him and learn from him. Then it sorta happened one night and I just knew straight away, like someone had turned a light on in me head." Ste played with the ring pull on his lager. "Thing was, Brendan was this total hard man – I mean, him and Warren used to try and double cross each other and fight all the time – and no one knew he was…you know, gay. He hated himself. Still think he does a bit."

"He used to take it out on me. With his fists. But he was like a drug and I couldn't help myself so I went back again and again and he'd hurt me. Really though, I knew if he could just see what I saw, if he could be the man I loved, then we could be together. I tried to move on, get away – girlfriends, boyfriends, got me own business, got a husband," Ste gave a sad smiled when he continued. "Not what I wanted though."

"But things worked out?"

"He changed. He's still changing. People died around him, he almost died and so did I –" Ste stopped and waved his hand about, "Another story!" he clarified. "And then the only thing stopping us was all the crap we'd been through, well, and me wedding ring. So I was meant to go and move to America with Doug, start again, but I didn't. I went to Dublin, we had this massive row but then…yeah. We got together."

Ste was quiet for a minute and then because the memories were so vivid and Brendan was pacing the city right at that moment, he spoke coyly. "It were dead romantic really. Like a movie."

"I'm happy for you, Ste. But I'm gonna start heaving if you carry on," Justin said, elbowing Ste and pulling soppy faces.

**X**

They sat on their arses as hours drifted by, with Ste filling Justin in with everything he'd missed over the years and him barely able to process everything. Justin chipped in with more details of his history, of girls he'd seen and replacement blondes that bore minor resemblance to Becca and Hannah, how he'd thought about trying to find her but thought better of it, knowing she'd be better off without him.

"I think we both know I'm not the type of bloke that's gonna get a happy ending," Justin said.

"I thought that about me – I thought Amy was my happy ending. And was wrong, weren't I?"

"What you saying, I should go and find myself a bloke?" Justin said, body shaking with laughter.

Ste puckered up his lips jokingly, only to be shoved away by Justin. His phone lit up then with a text from Amy about visiting the kids at the weekend and Justin peered at his phone wallpaper – a photo of Ste and Brendan snapped after their return from Dublin, all blissed out and smiling.

"Oh yeah, this him?" Justin asked, picking up Ste's phone. "What is th—is that a 'tache?!"

Ste snatched the phone off him. "Yeah," he said, tone stroppily defensive, "I like it. He calls it his –"

Justin clamped his hands to his ears, knowing what the expression on Ste's face meant. "No. I do _not_ wanna hear it." Ste laughed. "How old is he anyway?" Justin asked, peering over Ste's arm.

"Er…like you can judge me! You got a teacher pregnant!" Ste said, "He's thirty-four and he's got two kids, like me. 'Cept he's got an ex-wife."

"Well, you've got an ex-husband and practically an ex-wife, so…"

Ste mimicked Justin's voice sarcastically and then looked at the time on his phone. "Right, you gonna be alright on yer own? I've got a two hour shift at the deli and then I'll be back."

"I'm a big boy,"

"Right. Oh and if you're planning on staying another night then I'll have to ring Brendan later cos he's due home tonight and it's gonna look a bit weird with you in the spare."

"I can find a BnB if it's gonna be a problem,"

Ste disappeared off to his room to change into his uniform and called out teasingly. "Nah, no worries. I'll just get you some ear plugs!"

**X**

Justin was in the kitchen making himself a sandwich when he heard the key in the front door and called out to Ste.

"Ste, I'm making a sandwich! Do you want one, or you saving yourself for some steak?!" Justin laughed to himself, putting the finishing touches to his sandwich.

There was a shift in atmosphere as silence pulsed through the flat.

"And who might you be?" Brendan cleared his throat, dark Irish vowels raising panic in Justin. He turned around, brushing his hands on his jeans and offering out a hand for Brendan to shake.

"You must be Brendan," he said, standing awkwardly with his hand out, left unshaken.

He smiled falsely, whites of his eyes and teeth glaring back. "I asked you a question."

"Oh," Justin said, stuffing his hand into his pocket and removing eye contact. "I'm an old mate of Ste's, old flatmate actually. Justin Burton."

"He's never mentioned you."

"I had to get out of Hollyoaks for a few years." Justin said leaving out the details.

"So you're in my flat because…" Brendan crept closer now, dumping his bag to the side. "Eating my food because…"

"Look I promise, mate, you can call Ste yourself and…"

"Oh, oh I can call Steven myself?! Thank you for your permission."

Seconds later Justin was breathing a sigh of relief as Ste came in through the door, obliviously chatting away. "Jay, I got us a few more cans in and a pizza. Meat feast alright still?"

When Ste entered the flat, eyes falling to the scene in front of him in the kitchen with Justin flustered and nervy, Brendan too close for comfort and glaring, he was quick to put down the supplies and diffuse the situation.

"You two have met then?!" he said cheerily and stepped up to kiss Brendan, "And what you doing home so early?"

Brendan pointed to Justin. "You know this punk?"

"Yeah," Ste said, looping an arm round Justin's neck. "Justin used to live here. We called it the Bad Boys' Block."

Brendan tilted his head to the side.

"Proper little scallies," Ste said grinning. "Justin was like Warren's little errand boy." Ste started nudging Justin, who winced in reminder of Ste's earlier comments.

"Steven, a word? In private." Brendan said, beckoning him over. He cleared his throat and looked at Justin pointedly. "Go on!"

Brendan lowered his voice. "So as much as this whole lager and tracksuit image of you is turning me on right now, what exactly is your little friend doing here?"

Ste rolled his eyes and ran his hands down Brendan's chest. "Oh give over. I ain't seen him in years."

Brendan glanced to the side, watching Justin fiddle with a magazine.

"Bad Boys' Block didn't get a bit prison-showers then?"

Ste snorted. "Me and Justin?! Don't be daft. Nah we were good mates was all. And anyway, you know full well you were me first -"

"And best."

"First and best as you keep remindin' me, yeah." Ste placed his hands on Brendan's shoulders. "Be nice and have some pizza. You can tell me about Paddy's birthday and why Eileen obviously sent you packing early." Ste smiled. "Gis a kiss."

Brendan obliged. "What do I get in return for playing nice?"

Ste hummed as he thought for a moment. "I'll play scally for you tonight." His eyes sparkled, tongue peeking at the edge of his mouth.

Brendan snapped his teeth, emitting a low growl. "Deal."

The three lounged on the sofa with pizza, and knowing Brendan's appetite, Ste shoved some oven chips on too and they grew warmer and merrier with beer. Justin recounted tales of Bad Boys' Block, Ste's fling with Theresa and how the village had changed.

"So let me get this straight – you were Foxy's right hand man?" Brendan said, stuffing chips into his mouth.

"And left, when the right got tired," Ste said, laughing noisily.

"We don't all work our way through a job on our knees, _Steven_," Justin said, mocking the way Brendan said Ste's name.

"Touché," Brendan added.

"Oi, you! You're men'a'be on my side!" Ste cried, giving Brendan a shove.

"Ladies. If this is going to end with a grapple, I think that's my cue for bed."

"I think it was time for bed about two hours ago," Brendan said, looking at Ste with intent.

Justin sighed and stood up. "Right, I'll be off then. Thanks for this – was good to meet you, Brendan."

"Anytime Justine, any time." Brendan watched him leave and then turned to Ste. "And as for you…"


End file.
